Saturday, November 9, 2013

Don't Be a Chicken - Have Your Carbs

The one thing I miss while being on Paleo are potatoes and french fries --- not sweet potatoes --- the good ol' Idaho potato. I began to like sweet potatoes a bit, and yes, I know they are more nutritious overall, so I do my best to make it interesting. This time, I made homemade sweet potato fries. Now here's the thing, any time I go out to a restaurant and order sweet potato fries, they're either burnt to a crisp and bitter or just plain nasty. Then I tried it. These restaurants better take note. My fries are the bomb! Yesterday when I came home, I was freezing! It was so incredibly cold and windy out. I was supposed to go shopping with my sister and mother and then out to dinner, but because I was just too tired. I wanted to stay home by the fire and roast a chicken and make homemade sweet potato fries. I LOVE to cook when it's cold outside and I also love to cook when I am very stressed out. Kill two birds, right? Well, in this case, we'll just use one 8 lb bird. I have a special concoction that not only makes your entire house smell like, "FEED ME SEYMORE," but it also makes the chicken super tender and juicy, even if you overcook it. I tend to overcook, but it's never, ever, dry… ever.

First things first: Give your bird a bath. Wash her gingerly in a pan in a sink and then discard the pan. Wash everything after you have finished so that there is no salmonella lurking about. Take out the gizzards!!! I personally boil the liver for my little chihuahua. Liver is so good for dogs, especially boiled with no seasonings.

OK, where was I? 
  • Rub that bird down with generous amounts of salt, pepper, garlic powder, (chili powder optional) and let her sit so she is lukewarm. 
  • Get a tumbler out of your liquor cabinet. Don't get excited - it's for your special ingredients. 
  • Poor a quarter of olive oil and a quarter of broth into the glass. 
  • Chop 5 cloves of garlic.
  • Chop a bunch of parsley
  • Add it into the glass
  • Squeeze half a lemon into the mix
  • Add more seasonings, salt, pepper, garlic powder
  • Mix it up
  • Pour it onto your bird and then rub that bitch down again, getting every crevice, nook and cranny
  • Then, chop up two onions into chunks. Put it around the bird. 
  • Pour a half a bottle of beer in the pan
  • Cut pieces of real butter, one chunk on the top of the bird and the other chunks into the pan
She's ready to go. on 350 degrees for approximately 3 hours, you will have the most delicious bird in the world. Make sure you baste her good so she'll be juicy and it won't overcook the top so much. After you take her out, let her sit for about 30 minutes before serving.

So now for your carbs.

I have a slicer I bought that cuts up potatoes into fries perfectly. Slice them all up (I did about 4 potatoes) in case of guests or leftovers or even for breakfast with my eggs. Throw them into the pan with the oil and fry em' up! Don't burn them because they'll become bitter. This dish is usually paired up with any wine (or martini) - whether chardonnay or a nice deep cabernet or a dry Grey Goose martini with three olives. Season to your liking and bon appetit!

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